I was digging through old writing drafts, and I found one that I enjoyed re-reading. It was simply a series of independent short thoughts that had been floating around my mind that I hadn’t had time to deep dive on and still wanted to get down. One of my temptations when sharing my writing is to attempt to create the perfect structure. It’s difficult for me when I don’t know how to connect everything together or when I don’t feel like I have enough to say about a topic. This post is a bit of an antithesis to that form of writing.
The list I’m sharing is entirely unedited from its original form. It will likely feel jumbled, so forgive me if this is less sensible than usual. There may be overlap in some of the ideas, but there is no intended trajectory to tie everything together. Some things aren’t as applicable to me right now as they were when I wrote this months ago, but they were important at the time and to me that means they’re still worth including. There are also some items in this list that I have mentioned in other places before. If it feels like I’m repeating myself, that probably just means I stand strongly behind the statement. My hope in sharing this is at least a few of these thoughts provoke curiosity or reflection within yourself. And if not, well, you can at least trust that I enjoyed writing this. After all, as much as writing is for an audience, the primary member of that audience is the author himself. Here goes.
- The amount of time I spend on my phone is inversely proportional to how I feel looking back at a day.
- The hour after I wake up and the hour before I go to bed have the greatest bearing on how I feel throughout the day.
- I’ve started dedicating 30 minutes every day (well, almost every day) to cleaning my apartment. It’s a game changer, and waking up to a clean house leads to a tangibly less stressful day than if it is messy.
- If I want to do something on a consistent basis, I set a recurring alarm. Calendar blocking is great, but notifications can get lost in the sea of others. Alarms will always stand out. Just don’t snooze them. Choose to honor them.
- For whatever reason, I am drawn to the floor. Some of those who know me know this to be true. I occasionally will go through stretches of days where I choose to sleep on the floor instead of in my bed. I’ve recently started sitting on the floor a lot more – when I read, write, or sit in prayer or reflection. To me, there is something grounding about being on the floor and I find a lot of peace sitting or lying there. Maybe I’m crazy. Or maybe I’m not and there is actually a hidden value here that I cannot explain.
- If I drink a second cup of coffee, I start to physically feel more anxious.
- I never finish journaling or writing and think to myself – “that was a waste of time”. It’s caused me to think about what other activities I feel the same way about, or the opposite.
- Quality comes with quantity.
- I let fears and doubts control me far more rampantly than I often realize.
- I’ve started to notice more when I need to cry, and I’m practicing honoring those moments and creating space for tears. I’m learning there doesn’t always have to be a clear reason, because emotion doesn’t originate in our thoughts and logic, it originates in our bodies. One of the most powerful questions my therapist has ever asked me is – “Where are you feeling right now?”. Not what, but where. We don’t have to understand a feeling in order to feel it. We just need to make space for that feeling to live. For me, it almost always starts in my stomach. Starting with this question has been truly transformative in accessing tears and releasing other emotions that I hold in my body for far too long. Even as I write this I am tearing up thinking about all the beauty and healing that has come from this one simple question.
- Silence is sacred, and I wish that I was more comfortable with leaving space for silence instead of trying to fill it.
- My parents are real people with real lives, and they have so many good stories. I’ve become more and more thankful for the time I get with my parents each year.
- I dream a lot, but I frequently fail to translate these dreams into actionable plans. Thus they stay unrealized dreams. This disappoints me, and it’s something I want to become better at.
- Life is best done with people that deeply care about you.
- It’s okay to be bad at something. I am very much speaking this one over myself as I write it down.
- Eating more whole, unprocessed, foods leaves me feeling much more satisfied and energized.
- Alcohol really isn’t that great. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a beer with a friend on occasion, but it’s about the friend, not the drink.
- We don’t take enough time to reflect.
- The biggest mental hurdle to anything is the first step.
- All shiny objects eventually start to dull. I say this purely in a materialistic context, not a relational one.
- Seeking comfort in all situations is isolating, boring, and unsatisfying.
- Faith is complex.
- A therapist is a supplement to good friends, not a replacement for them.
- There isn’t always a single right, and a single wrong. Often times there are many rights, and it is simply a choice. However, you cannot choose everything, or you will end up choosing nothing.
- Defaults are powerful, and are even more powerful when we are unaware of them.
- I have a hard time trusting that my feelings are reliable. I envy, and question, those who “trust their gut”. But I do think there is a truth there that I have yet to learn.
- 99% of the time, the fight isn’t actually about what you’re fighting about.
- After a certain point, you’re not going to be able to gather any more useful information to make a decision.
- I’ve found so much value in having friends and mentors older than myself.
- There are far too many times where I ask myself a question, say “that’s a good question” and move on. I’ve started writing them down, and often I will revisit a question later and actually spend time pondering it. It’s rewarding.
- Society is largely built on consumption. Production is the greatest counteract to consumption. Figure out a way to not just consume. To be creative. To produce something that you can be proud of. For me that’s writing and playing music.
- Society says that if you work more, you are worth more. It’s a lie.
I’d love to hear if anything stood out to you and what’s leaving you pondering. As always, if anyone comes to mind that you think would enjoy this, I’d ask you consider sharing with them.
Thanks for taking the time to read this today.